isn't it all about letting go?

my girls are on holiday...school finished last Thursday and since then we're (or rather I am) trying to let go...

their days during school are so structured and filled up with things they have to do and of course also want to do, that there is almost no time left for well "nothing"...
time to just sit - on the bed, on the sofa, in the grass...wherever... time to look through colorings one did or all the things that piled up in ones room - to find interest in them again or decide to not need it anymore... time to just wander around the house... time to watch Mama cooking... time to lay on the carpet and hum a tune... time to lay in the garden and watch the sky, birds, sounds...whatever...

yes, whatever...
our kids schedules are really filled up and so I try to really keep it to almost nothing during their holidays this time. without me even planning anything there is enough things just coming up anyway... but for my older one it was most important to spend her first day of holidays in her pyjamas - all day long! hang out at home is something she isn't able to do very often, so she really enjoyed it and so did I! unfortunately I couldn't stay in my pyjamas all day, but I loved seeing the girls enjoying their nothingness...

we're all so obsessed by having to do something, even if we don't...it is not "cool" to have an empty diary and time for oneself or others...
as a (officially) non-working Mum for 6 years now and mainly living in countries where I do have somebody helping in the house, whoever I meet the first question I get is: "so, what are YOU doing all day?"
and I found me defending myself, counting up all the things I do... I got tired of it. my usual answer now is: "NOTHING"

unfortunately this is not true for most of my days and I know that there is a lot of women out there who know exactly what I mean. and even if I were doing NOTHING all day long I should just enjoy it and be grateful that I am in that happy position to do so...
slowly I start to let go... there is things that needn't be done on a day I am really tired and know that the afternoon or next day need all my energy anyway... there is hardly anything as important than "just" hanging out with my kids, if possible... and there is almost nothing as important than 10minutes just for myself.

not that I am able to let go of too many things yet, but I am very grateful that I am starting to realize and that I am in the position to do so... one very simple example tonight...

both girls had a movie night...we are on holiday bedtime, but it was even later than that...a year ago I might have freaked and tried to have them in bed as fast as possible, lights off, sleep (and we might all have ended up crying...)
tonight I enjoyed calming down after the house was empty, hugging my girls, and then of course gently getting them towards the bathroom... I did say no to another little bedtime-movie but when my little girl looked at me with her big eyes and asked if she could still get a massage, I did let go of whatever else I had in mind for the rest of the evening and treated me and the girls with some special time and a massage...

"being touched and caressed,

being massaged,

is food 'for the infant'.

food as necessary

as minerals, vitamins, and proteins.

deprived of this food,

the name of which is love,

'babies' would rather die.

and they often do."

words I wanted to share, written by Frederick Leboyer  in his book "loving hands, the traditional art of baby massage"... my kids still love it...